As my wedding is less than 2 months away, our pastoral counselor, Gary Purdy, is having us read 'The Marriage Builder' by Dr. Larry Crabb. As I avoid self help books in general for I am drawn to fiction or nonfiction, I found it difficult to concentrate on the words & absorb their meaning. Yet, I made progress & picked up some excellent jewels...simple but oh so helpful.
1. Whenever the goal of our behavior is essentially to change the other person--whether the change is good or bad--we are wrong. Unless there is the purpose of communicating love based on an awareness ofour spouses' needs, we qualify as manipulators, not ministers.
2. I cannot add to the fact of my husband's security, but I can add to his feelings of security.
3. Until I am aware of that my needs are ALREADY met in Christ, I will be motivated by emptiness to meet my needs. When I truly know this I can give out of my fullness in Christ.
4. The stain of selfcenteredness requires many washings before it no longer controls our motivation.
5. When an emotion arises within us, acknowledge to ourselves & God how we feel allowing ourselves to inwardly feel the emotion. Then emotional expression is legitimate only when it does not conflict w/our fulfilling God's purposes.
Ok that is all I feel like typing now.
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